Tuesday, March 27, 2018

I was hoping to post some good news, but Jeremy got word today that he did not get offered the position at that school. I am feeling deflated, weary, and mad. I know that I was preparing my heart that this was not going to work out, but the final word was just too much for my already weary heart. I had to tell the kids after school that daddy did not get the job. The sourness of my soul wanted to say, "you know that job we have been praying about? You know the special pray meeting we had at our house? You know the one that we had people all over the country praying about? Well God didn't answer our prayer." More tears fall as I realize that there is a bigger picture, but the disappointment leaves me with a weighing question of why God is doing this to us? What have we done to bring so much heartache and broken expectations. As tears streamed down my face I tried to tell my kids that we will be okay. I tried to use this as a lesson that God doesn't always answer our prayers the way we think they should be answered. I worry about my husband's emotions and spirit. I pray that this disappointment will not make him feel like he isn't good enough. I worry about my emotions and my spirit because right now they are pretty low. My head knows that God has another plan, but right now my heart isn't so sure. Well this is a pretty short post because I am too upset to really put any thoughts together. I just thought you should know that we got our answer.