Wednesday, September 24, 2014- Happy Birthday Samuel!
Today my precious son is 10 years old. 10 years old! A decade! How in the world did this even happen? It was just last week he was this tiny little baby asleep on my chest, right? We were just celebrating his first birthday. He was just learning to walk and talk. How quickly the last 10 years have flown by and I have to be honest I am struggling with this reality. I spent last night looking at pictures from the past ten years and tears fell because it is scary to think about how quickly the next ten will go. I know, I know, enjoy each day and don't get ahead of myself, but I can't help but think about it. Birthdays for my kids are also always filled with more emotions than a typical birthday. Their birthdays are filled with a great grief for their birth mothers, an almost guilty feeling of gratitude that they chose adoption, exuberant joy that they are your child, but a sting of sadness that they are not completely yours, and a heavy cloud of fear for the questions that might come as you tuck them in at night. Birthdays and Gotcha Days seem to be the days we have the most questions and conversations about their birth mothers and as they get older the questions get trickier to explain. So you smile through your tears and pray that God gives you the answers to their questions.
On this particular birthday we have reached a new milestone in our family. Our first child to reach double digits. Emma reminded Samuel that he is now double digits just like mom and dad :). This past summer I really started to notice how much Samuel was growing, not just physically but emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. I knew that our relationship would be changing. As he started 5th grade I knew that I had to take a step back and let him have some freedom. I no longer can give him a hug bye at school. No holding his hand as we walk through the parking lot or store. Letting him go across the playground to play at the bigger playground with his friends while I stay with the girls at the younger playground. I am not allowed to call him "baby" or "sweetie". It has been weird to notice that these new boundaries have also been hard on him. There is still that constant struggle of him wanting me in sight but not too close. At home he wants me to read with him and just sit by him while he does his homework. At home he still wants me close and I am thankful that my afternoons are free to spend that time with all three kids.
Samuel is doing great in school. He loves math and science, but reading we have to really stay on him. He is still respectful and wants to please us and his teachers at school. The other night at open house his homeroom teacher mentioned that Samuel is very well behaved, but he is actually too quiet in class. She knows he has good insight to class discussions but is too afraid of being wrong that he doesn't speak up. He was a little embarressed that she said that, but felt better after I told him that I heard teachers say that all my life, even into college :). He has my tender disposition but has Jeremy's sense of humor and quick wit. He loves playing Legos and on his DSI. He loves to draw and sort through his Pokemon cards. This year at school he is on the Cross Country team and I love watching him run. He is a happy kid and I am not sure if he has ever been in a bad mood. He has moments where he acts like he is mad about something but cracks a smile the moment you say something to him. He is kind and looks for the best in people. He was a joy the moment he was placed in my arms and has been a joy every day since. We are blessed beyond words that God brought Samuel into our hearts and lives. Adoption truly is a miracle!
So I posted a slideshow of picture today on FB, but I accidentally posted a super long version and I added a few pictures on accident (picture of me by myself and a family picture twice). I couldn't go in and edit it and I tried to make a new slideshow but it would not post to FB. So if you have the 6 minutes to spare you can go look at some of my favorite pictures of Samuel over the years.
This picture was taken on the morning of his first birthday. This was a classic "Samuel face" and that is why I love this picture so much!
This picture was taken this morning before he went to school.
On this particular birthday we have reached a new milestone in our family. Our first child to reach double digits. Emma reminded Samuel that he is now double digits just like mom and dad :). This past summer I really started to notice how much Samuel was growing, not just physically but emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. I knew that our relationship would be changing. As he started 5th grade I knew that I had to take a step back and let him have some freedom. I no longer can give him a hug bye at school. No holding his hand as we walk through the parking lot or store. Letting him go across the playground to play at the bigger playground with his friends while I stay with the girls at the younger playground. I am not allowed to call him "baby" or "sweetie". It has been weird to notice that these new boundaries have also been hard on him. There is still that constant struggle of him wanting me in sight but not too close. At home he wants me to read with him and just sit by him while he does his homework. At home he still wants me close and I am thankful that my afternoons are free to spend that time with all three kids.
Samuel is doing great in school. He loves math and science, but reading we have to really stay on him. He is still respectful and wants to please us and his teachers at school. The other night at open house his homeroom teacher mentioned that Samuel is very well behaved, but he is actually too quiet in class. She knows he has good insight to class discussions but is too afraid of being wrong that he doesn't speak up. He was a little embarressed that she said that, but felt better after I told him that I heard teachers say that all my life, even into college :). He has my tender disposition but has Jeremy's sense of humor and quick wit. He loves playing Legos and on his DSI. He loves to draw and sort through his Pokemon cards. This year at school he is on the Cross Country team and I love watching him run. He is a happy kid and I am not sure if he has ever been in a bad mood. He has moments where he acts like he is mad about something but cracks a smile the moment you say something to him. He is kind and looks for the best in people. He was a joy the moment he was placed in my arms and has been a joy every day since. We are blessed beyond words that God brought Samuel into our hearts and lives. Adoption truly is a miracle!
So I posted a slideshow of picture today on FB, but I accidentally posted a super long version and I added a few pictures on accident (picture of me by myself and a family picture twice). I couldn't go in and edit it and I tried to make a new slideshow but it would not post to FB. So if you have the 6 minutes to spare you can go look at some of my favorite pictures of Samuel over the years.
This picture was taken on the morning of his first birthday. This was a classic "Samuel face" and that is why I love this picture so much!
This picture was taken this morning before he went to school.
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