Sweet Life in the City

Twelve Memorial Stones from the Jordan When all the nation had finished passing over the Jordan, the LORD said to Joshua, “Take twelve men from the people, from each tribe a man, and command them, saying, ‘Take twelve stones from here out of the midst of the Jordan, from the very place where the priests' feet stood firmly, and bring them over with you and lay them down in the place where you lodge tonight.’” Then Joshua called the twelve men from the people of Israel, whom he had appointed, a man from each tribe. And Joshua said to them, “Pass on before the ark of the LORD your God into the midst of the Jordan, and take up each of you a stone upon his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the people of Israel, that this may be a sign among you. When your children ask in time to come, ‘What do those stones mean to you?’ then you shall tell them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD. When it passed over the Jordan, the...

I love to read. In fact reading is probably my favorite leisure activity. Sometimes I have to make myself not read because once I pick up a book I am no use for anything else. I picked up a new book on Friday and have stayed up way too late each night reading and my to-do list has not even been looked at. I believe that the difference between people who love to read and those who hate to read is the ability to transform oneself into the story you are reading. Every book I pick up I can make my mind become a part of the story. Reading each word as if I am a character in the book. Every once in a while I get a book and I just can't "get into it", these are the books I (gasp) never finish. This is also how I read the Bible. Each story, each verse I read I can place myself in the crowd or a bystander looking on observing and living in my mind and heart what is happening. There is always one story in the Bible that I have to be honest, makes me squirm a little bit. Matthew 1...

February 15, 2008 The day had finally arrived, we would be taking custody of Emma! We got up and got ready. We went to a cute cafe down the street for breakfast and then we headed over to our agency. We were not really sure how all of this was going to happen, we were just told to come to the agency at 10:30 that morning. We get to the agency and they take us on a little tour of the building. We meet and have our picture taken with the president of the agency and he gives us a small jewelry box as a keepsake for our daughter. We go back upstairs and we are asked to what in this little room. We anxiously are waiting and after a few minutes Emma's foster mother comes in the room with Emma. Emma is all bundled up and the foster mother has all of Emma's belongings in two blue bags, She hands us the bags and also a few gifts that she has bought for us and Emma. It is a little awkward because we are all sitting in there and the foster mother is still holding Emma and we are not sure...

February 14, 2008 We did not sleep well the night before. I was still too uptight over our ordeal the night before. I was up pacing the floor, shedding some tears, and just worrying about everything that could go wrong the next day. Morning of the 14th finally came and we got ready to go to the agency to meet our daughter. We were about to leave our room when there came a knock at the door. A little unnerving, but really unnerving when it was a staff member saying we had a phone call at the front desk. Whoever was calling us from the States it couldn't be good news. Before I got to the phone we did find out that the call was from MI. Panic set in as I thought it had to do with Emma and the way the adoption had gone so far I wouldn't be surprised if there had been another delay. My hand was shaking as the front desk lady handed me the phone. It was indeed a staff member from our agency in MI. Her first words were, "Everything is okay with Emma. This call is about the othe...

February 13, 2008 It had been a long journey, in every aspect of the word of journey. As I mentioned yesterday, we had fought a hard battle to get to this point in the journey where we were finally going to pick up our daughter. The plane ride to Korea was a mix  of nervous excitement, uncertainty, and sheer terror. It was not helping that my fear of flying is probably number 3 on my worst fears, flying across the ocean for 20+ hours was definitely not my idea of a good time. I was also dealing with my anxiety of leaving my 3 year old son behind to leave the country. Those that knew me then (who am I kidding, who know me now), I do not like to leave my kids. Samuel had also been battling a strep infection and well, he is kind of a momma's boy :). The fear of what Emma would think of us also would creep into our hearts and mind. We had been loving her and fighting for her, but for her, her world was right where she was. We would be taking her from everything tha...

Thursday, February 12, 2004 is the day that the mirror of my life would be forever broken. I was 26 years old. We had been fighting a hard battle over the past 9 months. We thought we were winning. I had gone in a few days before to have my third and final biopsy. I had been taking treatments and every three months I would need a biopsy to check the process. A painful, take my breath away biopsy that I was not sedated for. I had been poked, prodded, went from doctor to doctor, suffered the embarrassment and humiliation because it seemed like everyone doctor in South Carolina had seen the most intimate parts of my body. I knew that this third biopsy would be my last if there was not any signs that the cancer was gone. The day of the biopsy my doctor was actually hopeful because the tissue taken did look  different then previous biopsies. We were sent home and told to come back on the 12th for the results. We went home and we held onto hope. We knew that our miracle was coming. Every...

Wow! This week has gotten away from me. Thursday morning I had two very sad and long-faced kiddos. Sam and Emma were having a rough time coming to terms with the fact that Thursday was their last day of school with there friends. Chloe was probably also sad, but she wasn't expressing it like the other two. Through tears we prayed our way to school asking God to give peace and understanding that this was what was going to be the best for all of us. It was an emotional day for me taking phone calls and reading emails from their teachers expressing their sadness that the kids were going to a different school. I had to go into the school and pick up all of their confidential transfer papers and it was not easy. I stood outside waiting for the kids and was met with hugs and tears from other moms that I have gotten to know over the last few years and that was not easy. I let the girls stay for their last day of after school choir, so Samuel came out of school surrounded by four of his cl...

“Of one thing I am perfectly sure: God's story never ends with 'ashes.” ―  Elisabeth Elliot ,  These Strange Ashes Sometimes when I think about my life I feel like I have lived two different lives. When I look at old pictures of myself or remember old memories I sometimes do not recognize the person in those memories. I see a girl full of life and hopes and dreams and unmarred by brokenness and pain, but the truth is that pain and heartache change a person. My brain works in weird ways and I think about things that nobody else probably thinks about or picks up on, but I have a tendency to see analogies in most things in life. When I think about my life I feel like my life has always been like looking in a mirror. For the first 25 years of my life I saw a reflection of everything good and beautiful and could see the reflection of my hopes and dreams dancing in the background of that mirror. I viewed life as one in which bad things don't usually happen and they surely wo...

I had planned all day to sit down and give a quick update on how things went on Friday, but I am now just sitting down and having a few minutes to post. We spent a few hours on Friday meeting with the principal and touring the school. Jeremy and I both had complete peace that this was the time and place we needed to transfer the kids. The school is small, but cozy, and I loved seeing Scripture throughout the school. The second quarter ends on Thursday for CPS, so the kids will start at the new school on Friday. We left the school with tons of paperwork to fill out and the first expense of registration that would be due when we turned in the paperwork. It was a significant amount and since this was a quick decision, it was going to be extra tight in finances until Jeremy got paid on Friday. Even with the upfront cost, we took the step of faith and decided that we would enroll the kids. Jeremy had the remainder of the day off so we both picked up the kids and we had some gift cards left ...

I first want to thank all of you that have been praying for us! We can sense the prayers and we can see the difference. I have to be honest that I have been beating myself up a little bit about sharing such a personal experience. I have been second guessing myself for being so raw and sharing something so personal. I have had a few people reach out to me being very encouraging because they know exactly where we are coming from and has experienced or are experiencing the same battles, but I cannot help but think that some think maybe I should not have shared my last post. I just know that the likelihood of me calling someone or talking face to face with someone about this struggle is very slim, but in my blog I can express my feelings so much better and not let them consume me. Maybe so many problems today is a direct result from not talking through them. Anyway, there has been a laundry list of reasons piling up of why public schools are becoming harmful to our children. Since we...

This past week has not been the easiest. Friday afternoon my body started to revolt against me and I would enter what is called a Fibro flare. It basically means that the pain you feel every day is amplified by about 100 times and it could last a few days or a few weeks. They are different for each person that has these, but I would describe the feeling as if someone has dipped my whole body in concrete and I am now required to walk around and function in society. Every thing in my body feels heavy and every inch of me hurts to the point that the clothes on my body are causing a degree of pain. It hurts to stand up but it also hurts to lay down. Your chest feels tight and heavy and you wonder every few hours if maybe you need to go to the ER but you  feel like you might be dying. Sleeping is almost none existent, so it just makes everything else worse. I have become pretty good at figuring our what brings on this flare and I have them at much fewer intervals the last year and a hal...

Hear, my son, your father's instruction,      and forsake not your mother's teaching, Proverbs 1:8   For  you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus.   3  For this is the will of God,  your sanctification: [ b ]   that you abstain from sexual immorality;   4  that each one of you know how to control his own  body [ c ]  in holiness and  honor, 7  For  God has not called us for  impurity, but in holiness. I Thessalonians 4:3-4; 7 My son is no longer Baby Sammers. He is no longer a baby, toddler, little boy, but he is growing into a young man. I have already mentioned how much he has grown this past year and it has become clear that his body and emotions are changing and discussions will start to be happening in our household. I had a friend encourage me when my kids were young to not weep when each stage of their life ends, but to enjoy the new stage because each stage offer...