Sweet Life in the City

I hate parking. Even as a teenager learning how to drive the thought of parking and pulling out of a parking spot terrified me. I remember having anxiety even then about the whole parking of a car thing. I think a lot of has to do with the fact that my depth perception is extremely flawed. I have no idea what to even say when someone asks me how far something is or how tall a person is. I had a parent ask me a few weeks ago about a size of a shelf they were wanting to buy for our classroom to store boots during the day and my face was a blank. I did not have a clue what to tell her about what size I was thinking of. So you can imagine how hard it is to think through how close I am to other cars when I am parking. I get thrown off when I am pulling in a spot because I was sure that I am about to hit another car. Or when I am backing out, the cars behind me seem like they are (well I would make a guess, but I am not even sure what number to say 😜) right behind me. I know when I am pulli...

This week has passed so quickly. Each day I feel like the Lord is teaching me that I need to put down my plan book and just trust whatever He is planning for our life. I feel like my mind has been twirling around about what will be going on next year. The future for my husband and his job, Samuel going to high school, and where does the Lord want the girls and I next year. I feel like I have been stressing and more stressing. All these scenarios running through my head. I have mapped and planned until my head hurts. Wednesday night we started back our community group. We call is RC (Real Community) for any future posts. I came home Wednesday night and I became really convicted about all the things I have been stressing about. I have just been so torn because things going on have been too close to home, but the bottom line is that the Lord hasn't called me away from where I am and as long as I am allowed to stay, I need to stay. My heart has not been pure. My attitude has not reflec...

It was back to reality for me today. It was not easy waking up before 8 o'clock, getting ready to be in society, and actually functioning in that society. It doesn't help that the constant rain last night caused our basement to have flooding in it's normal place (welcome to owning a home in Chicago with a basement). We had put towels down last night, but they were drenched so I had to wash them out, Sam got the shop vac, put new towels down, repeat three more times. I was already tired before I joined my society made up of 26 four year olds who need every once of energy that I have. It was difficult, but it was so good to see my sweet loves. Many had been out most of last week and so it was really good to see them back. These various illnesses that have been going around have hit my class hard and it just makes my heart hurt. I got two emails last night that two more students have strep and other complications and it makes me so sad. Our class could use some prayers. Prayer...

It has been quite the miserable weekend. I have mentioned that I have not felt great the last few weeks. It all started when my girls got sick and I although I did not feel terrible, I was just not feeling right. I was coughing and had some sinus stuff. I only ran a low grade temperature on the weekends, but even then didn't feel terrible. I just tried to get some rest the last few weekends and pray whatever cold I had would work itself out. Wednesday night I was starting to feel a little bit worse. My cough seemed to be worse and I was just really worn down. I kind of played it off because Valentine's Day was a little more active with the party. Jeremy asked if I needed to stay home on Thursday, but I couldn't miss the 100th Day of School! I woke up really early on Thursday because sometime in the night my teacher brain came up with a fun game to play for our ice cream party so I had to get up and find all the materials to make the game. I was not feeling great. My cough w...

It does not seem real that it has been 10 years since I saw and held Emma for the first time. I remember that day ten years ago in Korea like it was yesterday. Last year I wrote a post that gives  more details about our first meeting with Emma. You can read it here  if you would like. I just cannot let this day go by without reflecting on the miracle of that moment of finally holding Emma in my arms. We had walked through some dark paths on our journey, but those months waiting for Emma, those moments were all hope seemed to be lost of ever getting our daughter home were some of the darkest days and nights of our life. Those who walked with us through these months can testify to the dark cloud that was forever present over my spirit. So that Valentine's Day in 2008 was my forever reminder our the Lord's faithfulness. It was not easy, it was not easy even after she came home, but God was building our family in a beautiful way. This year has been the most challenging on the...

It has been a been a pretty low key weekend. We have a foot of snow on the ground and I was not feeling well most of the weekend, so I have not left the house since Thursday. Jeremy traded in our vehicle on Friday for a better vehicle and I haven't even gone outside to look inside the car. We got our vehicle over two years ago, but we have had so many issues with it since the week after we brought it home and we were done dealing with all the problems. I am feeling better but still have an annoying cough. I am also trying to keep my emotions in check as I enter my grieving period. Many that have known me for a while know the struggle I face every year as February 12th rolls around. From February to April 2nd I relive many days that changed my life. It is in these few months that I wish my memories were not so sharp because I feel the emotions as if they were yesterday. Reposting: Thursday, February 12, 2004 is the day that the mirror of my life would be forever broken. I was 2...

Two of our favorite words were uttered yesterday, "SNOW DAY"! I think it  has been four years since our last snow day. Living in the North, you just live with the fact when it snows you continue to live like it hasn't snowed. I have been watching this winter storm for a few days because our class had a field trip planned for today. I figured we would have school, but I made calls yesterday and had already rescheduled our field trip. The closer the storm approached to Chicago the higher the snow totals became and it would be arriving late at night and continue through the morning rush. With all of these factors schools in the city called for a snow day and happy dances began! I had big plans today to get my laundry done and house organized, but I woke up with a weird cough that burns my chest a little and I just am not feeling great. I am praying it is not what is going around. Four more of my students were out the last few days and it looks like round two of sickness has ...

Winter has returned to Chicago. We had a few weeks of somewhat mild weather, but Saturday night and Sunday we had a few inches of snow and the snow has started back up this afternoon and is supposed to snow most the night. The bitter cold has also returned and is not my body's favorite type of weather. I have been doing okay during the day, but when night settles in the care of the world tends to settle on the back of my neck. I have not slept well the last few nights. I have found myself the last few weeks withdrawing. Old tendencies have crept back in and I find myself not wanting to be around people. Yesterday morning I wanted to go to church (and I did go), but that anxiety gripped my heart that I just did not want to answer any questions about what was going on. I was worried everyone would be asking, or maybe worried nobody cared and wouldn't ask. The message yesterday was about Joshua and the 12 tribes crossing the Jordan and stacking the 12 stones as a reminder to what ...

The girls and I finally returned to society yesterday. They both seemed to be recovered from this flu bug (except Chloe's pesky cough). I was so happy to be back with my students. We did some Groundhog Day activities and did some activities  about shadows. We went outside and they traced another student's shadow. It was 11 degrees outside so we had to do it quickly, but they had so much fun and the weirdness of my brain made another connection to our current situation. I have struggled with posting this information. I am still struggling as I write each of these words. I do not have ill will to anyone involved. This is not to make others look bad, it's just the current situation in our lives. One year ago today my husband accepted the new role as the high school principal for the high school that would be starting this school year. The decision was madness. We didn't understand why God was asking him to commit this financial and professional suicide, but He was and s...

Day 6 of the hostage situation. Well, maybe that's a little dramatic. I think the girls are finally on the mend, but with Chloe's terrible cough last night and Emma still running a fever late into the night (no fever this morning) the girls are home again from school. We decided yesterday that Jeremy was going to take off today so I could go to work. He of course still had to go in early this morning to open the building and get everything in order. I got up and got ready but then I got a message from him that with so many staff still out it was going to be difficult for him to take off today. I went up to my classroom for a few minutes to get things ready for today and then I headed back home. I realized when I got to the school that I have not left the house since Saturday! No wonder my soul feels restless! You ever get the feeling of restlessness? I wish I could blame this week of being stuck in the house taking care of my girls for this feeling, but I know it is much deeper...