Thursday, February 1, 2018

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Day 6 of the hostage situation. Well, maybe that's a little dramatic. I think the girls are finally on the mend, but with Chloe's terrible cough last night and Emma still running a fever late into the night (no fever this morning) the girls are home again from school. We decided yesterday that Jeremy was going to take off today so I could go to work. He of course still had to go in early this morning to open the building and get everything in order. I got up and got ready but then I got a message from him that with so many staff still out it was going to be difficult for him to take off today. I went up to my classroom for a few minutes to get things ready for today and then I headed back home. I realized when I got to the school that I have not left the house since Saturday! No wonder my soul feels restless! You ever get the feeling of restlessness? I wish I could blame this week of being stuck in the house taking care of my girls for this feeling, but I know it is much deeper. I have a hard time being still. I really do not like watching movies. I will watch them, but the thought of sitting for almost 2 hours doing nothing but watching a screen makes me a little bonkers. I love watching the Cubs play baseball, but my family knows that when the other team is batting I am up doing something else. I think that's why I love teaching little ones so much because you might get 30 seconds of stillness before you are on the move again. Things are always changing and you really never know what is going to happen next when you have a room full of 4 year olds. I can plan our every second of the day, but I would be foolish to think that it will look anything like my plan. Hmm... sounds a little like how I live my life. You would think that in my 40 years of life I would have learned my lesson about waiting on God and knowing that He has proved Himself faithful time and time again. Knowing that my plan and His plan rarely look anything a like. Yet, here I find myself, restless. Wondering, planning, losing sleep, trying to figure everything out. Begging God to reveal His plan because what we were so sure of has taken a drastic turn. As I drove back home this morning kind of bummed that I would not be rejoining society today, God grabbed my restless heart and revealed to me that my heart will continue to be restless until I learn to completely rest in Him and His plan. The future seems a little murky to me (okay, maybe a lot murky), but God knows my heart and knows that even if He revealed what was next I would still find something to be worried about. I don't need to know what life will look like in a month, six months, ten years from now, I need to know that God is good. His steadfast love and faithfulness surround me and are always with me. I have been reading through the book of Psalms. I am almost finished with the book and the verse this morning is the one I am going to focus on for a while. The last part of these verse say, "Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground!" The ground I have been on has been pretty rocky and has seemed pretty treacherous at times, so my prayer is that He will bring me to that level ground.


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