Winter has returned to Chicago. We had a few weeks of somewhat mild weather, but Saturday night and Sunday we had a few inches of snow and the snow has started back up this afternoon and is supposed to snow most the night. The bitter cold has also returned and is not my body's favorite type of weather. I have been doing okay during the day, but when night settles in the care of the world tends to settle on the back of my neck. I have not slept well the last few nights. I have found myself the last few weeks withdrawing. Old tendencies have crept back in and I find myself not wanting to be around people. Yesterday morning I wanted to go to church (and I did go), but that anxiety gripped my heart that I just did not want to answer any questions about what was going on. I was worried everyone would be asking, or maybe worried nobody cared and wouldn't ask. The message yesterday was about Joshua and the 12 tribes crossing the Jordan and stacking the 12 stones as a reminder to what God had done to the generations that would come behind them. I wrote about this a few years ago. This story from the Bible has been very meaningful to my life since I was in high school. I remember very clearly hearing this message and going outside and stacking some stones and pledging my life to Christ. Giving Him freedom to do whatever He wanted to do with my life, I was His. I wouldn't think about that day for many years. It would be years later as I sat on a cold metal table at the cancer center in SC would that day be relived in my life. I had given Jesus my life, I had no right to tell Him how to use it. I would build many more figurative stone monuments throughout my life when God would bring me through a time in my life. We have been very intentional about being transparent with our kids about when we are going through difficult times. We do not give every detail, but we let them know so we can go back and let them know how God delivered us. So yesterday was a great reminder to our current state of life. It was a perfect time to remember everything that God has brought through. God has been faithful. So many times we can point back to and know that it was only God that could of worked out that situation. So, we find ourselves staring at a river to cross. I know God will provide. I know He is not surprised. He knew this river would need to be crossed way before we did. I know all of these things and yet I stand at the bank of this river wondering how long we will be waiting for the waters to part or a boat to pick us up. My selfish prayer is that we will know the next step soon. My prayer is that even while I am waiting I do not miss what God wants me to see. I look forward to the post that I can tell all of wonderful plans He has for us.
I am thankful these days for my sweet class that keep me so busy that I do not have a lot of time to think about any of my anxieties. I have been trying to focus on the little things in life that make me smile. Today the smile came in the form of these tiny little Jordan's one of my students were wearing and a Valentine's chocolate cake that another student brought for me. I have a little guy in my class. I mean, really little guy. The first few weeks of school other teachers could not believe that he was 4 years old. There are some different challenges with this student, but he is so smart and he makes me smile every day! It doesn't matter what kind of mood I am in or how crazy my morning was, the moment this kid says, "Hi Mrs. Riggs!" My heart melts and I cannot help but smile. A few weeks ago his mom told me that before bed one night he says to her, "Mom, Mrs. Riggs really loves me." Yes, sir, I do love you! He had been out all week so I had not seen him since last week. He had on these new Jordan's and his little feet just brought a smile to my face and challenged me that God has given me this little guy (and all my kiddos) to help them learn to walk in whatever path that He is planning for them. The second smile came from a little girl who had this yummy chocolate snack cake last week and I commented on how yummy that looked. Today at snack time she took two cakes out and says, "Teacher, this one is for you".
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| Snowy day and the lovely construction equipment. They have been working on our street for several weeks. That machinery is now parked in front of our house. |
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| My poor puppies are not a fan of the snow |
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