Sunday. March 3, 2013- 9 years Cancer Free
I never really know how to feel when March 3rd rolls around each year. I feel great joy, thankfulness, blessed, and grateful that my life was extended and my body has been healed from cancer for these past nine years. But, I cannot help but feel the pain, sadness, disappointment, and the deep longing in my heart for what was lost on this day. I cannot help but relive every minute of this day 9 years ago when I was indeed healed from cancer, but a new battle would begin in my heart. When I mention that I had endometrial cancer some people have no idea what I am talking about, and to tell the truth I did not really know what it was in detail until a few years ago when I started doing some more research on it. I know it might seem crazy that I did not know much about it, but I have mentioned before, when I was diagnosed with cancer my main goal was to get rid of it so I could have a baby. I guess nine years ago information was not as easily accessed at the click of a button. So, I thought for this post I would just inform you a little about endometrial cancer. I was going to post more information but it may be a little graphic for this blog :)
Taken from this webpage
"Endometrial cancer is the most common type of uterine cancer. Although the exact cause of endometrial cancer is unknown, increased levels of estrogen appear to play a role."
"Most cases of endometrial cancer occur between the ages of 60 and 70 years, but a few cases may occur before age 40."
"There is no effective screening test for endometrial (uterine) cancer."
In the United States, cancer of the endometrium is the most common cancer of the female reproductive organs. The American Cancer Society estimates for endometrial cancer in the United States for 2013 are:
"These estimates include both endometrial cancers and uterine sarcomas. About 2% of uterine body cancers are sarcomas, so the actual numbers for endometrial cancer cases and deaths are slightly lower than these estimates."
"Endometrial cancer is rare in women under the age of 40. Most cases are found in women aged 50 and over, with more than half of all endometrial cancer cases diagnosed in the 50 to 69 age group. The average chance of a woman being diagnosed with this cancer during her lifetime is about one in 38. There are over 500,000 women who are survivors of this cancer. This cancer is more common in white women, but black women are more likely to die from it."
As I read over these stats again it still is unbelievable that this is what I had. I was 25 years old when I was diagnosed. There was not even a % of women my age to be diagnosed with this type of cancer. If you go online to read the symptoms, my symptoms were the opposite of those symptoms. It never showed up on a pap smear and did not show up in any of my blood work. I remember my oncologist saying that I was blessed to have a local doctor that would even check for this cancer because it was unheard of in someone my age. When I met with my local doctor and got the diagnosis it was not good. From the sample of tissue that they looked at it was determined that it has already changed form several times and we were looking at stage 3 or 4 cancer. From the sample he was confident that it had spread to other organs. We had so many praying for me that Wednesday, April 2, 2004 and I believe God performed a miracle because by Friday of that week the same sample of tissue was looked at by my oncologist and it was not as advanced as the first diagnosis. I am not sure why I had to go through 11 months of "hell on earth" (sorry no other way to describe it) to reach the same conclusion of surgery, but that was part of my journey and I know God was with me and teaching me. I went into surgery March 3, 2004 surrounded by Jeremy, my parents, and Jeremy's parents. I remember being so scared and every time they asked me what I was having done today I literally started shaking and I thought for sure my heart would break and never be repaired. The nurse actually started to put me under a little earlier than planned because I was becoming so pale and was started to shake from nerves. I woke up a few hours later in a hospital room with my family and a great deal of pain from my surgery and a feeling of great loss. We then waited for the results to come back from the biopsy of tissue and the lymph nodes they took to check for cancerous cells. Dr. Williams came in the next day to give us the AMAZING news, CANCER FREE. I was sent home a few days later and started the next series of my life. Here I am 9 years into later into the new person and I am amazed at how God has chosen to write my story. I cannot say that I would have ever written it like this before cancer, but I cannot imagine my life being any more blessed than it is today. Cancer was devastating to my life, but cancer gave me Samuel, Emma, and Chloe and I would not change that for a million (or even one) of my own biological children. So I close this post with the lyrics from a Babbie Mason song called Trust His Heart that I think of every time around this year.
All things work for our good
Though sometimes we don't
See how they could
Struggles that break our hearts in two
Sometimes blind us to the truth
Our Father knows what's best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathway grows dim
And you just don't see him,
Remember your never alone
Chorus:
God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When don't see his plan
When you can't trace his hand
Trust His Heart
He sees the master plan
He holds the future in his hand,
So don't live as those who have no hope,
ALL our hope is found in him.
We see the present clearly
He sees the first and last
And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me,
To someday be just like him
(Chorus)
He alone is faithful and true
He alone knows what is best for you
(Chorus)
When you can't trace his hand
When you don't see his plan
When you don't understand
Trust His Heart
P.S. I also scored a 93% on my first test for my class and I lost 2 more pounds this week which means I have lost 5% of my starting weight! :)
Taken from this webpage
"Endometrial cancer is the most common type of uterine cancer. Although the exact cause of endometrial cancer is unknown, increased levels of estrogen appear to play a role."
"Most cases of endometrial cancer occur between the ages of 60 and 70 years, but a few cases may occur before age 40."
"There is no effective screening test for endometrial (uterine) cancer."
In the United States, cancer of the endometrium is the most common cancer of the female reproductive organs. The American Cancer Society estimates for endometrial cancer in the United States for 2013 are:
- About 49,560 new cases of cancer of the body of the uterus (uterine corpus) will be diagnosed.
- About 8,190 women will die from cancers of the uterine body.
"These estimates include both endometrial cancers and uterine sarcomas. About 2% of uterine body cancers are sarcomas, so the actual numbers for endometrial cancer cases and deaths are slightly lower than these estimates."
"Endometrial cancer is rare in women under the age of 40. Most cases are found in women aged 50 and over, with more than half of all endometrial cancer cases diagnosed in the 50 to 69 age group. The average chance of a woman being diagnosed with this cancer during her lifetime is about one in 38. There are over 500,000 women who are survivors of this cancer. This cancer is more common in white women, but black women are more likely to die from it."
As I read over these stats again it still is unbelievable that this is what I had. I was 25 years old when I was diagnosed. There was not even a % of women my age to be diagnosed with this type of cancer. If you go online to read the symptoms, my symptoms were the opposite of those symptoms. It never showed up on a pap smear and did not show up in any of my blood work. I remember my oncologist saying that I was blessed to have a local doctor that would even check for this cancer because it was unheard of in someone my age. When I met with my local doctor and got the diagnosis it was not good. From the sample of tissue that they looked at it was determined that it has already changed form several times and we were looking at stage 3 or 4 cancer. From the sample he was confident that it had spread to other organs. We had so many praying for me that Wednesday, April 2, 2004 and I believe God performed a miracle because by Friday of that week the same sample of tissue was looked at by my oncologist and it was not as advanced as the first diagnosis. I am not sure why I had to go through 11 months of "hell on earth" (sorry no other way to describe it) to reach the same conclusion of surgery, but that was part of my journey and I know God was with me and teaching me. I went into surgery March 3, 2004 surrounded by Jeremy, my parents, and Jeremy's parents. I remember being so scared and every time they asked me what I was having done today I literally started shaking and I thought for sure my heart would break and never be repaired. The nurse actually started to put me under a little earlier than planned because I was becoming so pale and was started to shake from nerves. I woke up a few hours later in a hospital room with my family and a great deal of pain from my surgery and a feeling of great loss. We then waited for the results to come back from the biopsy of tissue and the lymph nodes they took to check for cancerous cells. Dr. Williams came in the next day to give us the AMAZING news, CANCER FREE. I was sent home a few days later and started the next series of my life. Here I am 9 years into later into the new person and I am amazed at how God has chosen to write my story. I cannot say that I would have ever written it like this before cancer, but I cannot imagine my life being any more blessed than it is today. Cancer was devastating to my life, but cancer gave me Samuel, Emma, and Chloe and I would not change that for a million (or even one) of my own biological children. So I close this post with the lyrics from a Babbie Mason song called Trust His Heart that I think of every time around this year.
All things work for our good
Though sometimes we don't
See how they could
Struggles that break our hearts in two
Sometimes blind us to the truth
Our Father knows what's best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathway grows dim
And you just don't see him,
Remember your never alone
Chorus:
God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When don't see his plan
When you can't trace his hand
Trust His Heart
He sees the master plan
He holds the future in his hand,
So don't live as those who have no hope,
ALL our hope is found in him.
We see the present clearly
He sees the first and last
And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me,
To someday be just like him
(Chorus)
He alone is faithful and true
He alone knows what is best for you
(Chorus)
When you can't trace his hand
When you don't see his plan
When you don't understand
Trust His Heart
P.S. I also scored a 93% on my first test for my class and I lost 2 more pounds this week which means I have lost 5% of my starting weight! :)
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