Sunday, September 15, 2013

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Well, it has been a busy few weeks and blogging has not made it on my list of things to do :). I have sat down a few times to write a post but then would be called away to do something else. We went to TN over Labor Day weekend and had a wonderful time. I was trying to surprise my PV friends and family and come by the school for a visit, but it just didn't work out :( My sister and her family from OK came and my brother and my two nephews. I had not seen "the boys" (AKA Kaleb and Kraig) since December and it just did my heart good to spend a few days with them. They are grown now, but they are still my boys! We had Labor Day off and then started back to our regular routine. The kids have been enjoying their new school and I have been trying not to be worried sick all day. The past two weeks and I have started to get in a routine of getting things accomplished and trying to get take some time for myself. I have been struggling so much because despite the fact that I was not planning on being in this place right now in life I know that God has given me this time to myself as a time of refreshing and rest, but I have been doing the exact opposite! My stress over the kids (okay mostly Sam) has sent my fibro out of control. One day last week I felt so bad that I would have been worried if I had not felt that bad before. I tried this week to relax and whisper a prayer when my anxiety started to be set off. On Friday when I picked the kids up Sam started telling me that a boy in class was having a birthday party on the 29th and handed out invitations at the end of class but he and several other people had not gotten an invitation. First I was mad that the teacher let the kid pass them out on class. Second, I was upset that my child was upset (even though I admit I was more upset then him). Third, I started to help him blow it off. I reminded him that he really did not know the boy that well. I reminded him that on the 29th we already were having a family day that included going to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2. I kept talking but I think I was trying to calm myself down. I also shared on FB that as we were leaving that day Sam waved goodbye to a kid. The kid turned out to be the kid who is having the party. I praised Samuel for still being nice even when the kid had excluded him in the party and I took away a very valuable lesson from my 8 year old. The Lord spoke to me Friday evening about HIS care for my kids. Nothing (even not getting invited to a birthday party) passes through His hand to one of His children without His knowledge and plan. I started to remember that this child is one that at open house his dad mentioned something about hoping he has a better year. I have seen this child talking with his dad and the teacher several times after school (including Friday) about a bad behavior or bad choice and I started to look at the situation though God's view. Why do we always feel like we have had an injustice to us when something hurts us in some way or we don't get what we want? God knows who my kids need to be close friends with. Maybe this invite would of lead to bad choices in the future. So, I chose to be thankful. I chose to see this disappointment in my son as God's shaping in his life.
 Saturday morning Samuel had a soccer game. They lost, but he is enjoying it and making some new friends. Jeremy is actually the head coach, so we are starting to make some contacts as well. We also had a situation Saturday morning that has prompted us to start looking for another place to live. I shared a story about our landlord's girlfriend several months ago so I will not rehash that story, but I woke up around 7 thinking that someone was crying. It was such a nice evening the night before that all of the windows were open so the noise was pretty loud. I got up and the crying turned into screaming and terrible cursing. Jeremy went outside and noticed that the neighbors were also coming out. The girlfriend was drunk as can be laying in the backyard screaming and cursing like you would not believe. This scene went on for over 20 minutes before she finally went back inside. It was just the final straw for us. I would ask that you would pray with us on this issue. We need to stay within the kids school zone but three bedroom places are kind of hard to find. And, one that takes pets is also an issue. We are paying very low rent right now, so financially we also need something that we can afford. In our area we will probably have to pay close to $500 more a month than we are currently playing. I want to be smart about where we live but I must share that being in this apartment has started to make me feel depressed when I am here. I do believe that some of this has to do with the spiritual battle I have been fighting with my worry, but I hate being here by myself. I want to be content where God has me, but I am struggling and I would ask that you would pray for me on this matter.

Well, this first post in September has not been the most cherry of posts, hoping the next one will be a little more encouraging :)

Family (except Jeremy) 



My soccer guy! Also, he is my favorite number :) 

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