Monday, August 22, 2011

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Thank you all so much for your prayers and sweet comments. I am still processing everything and my heart is still so heavy. I was able to talk to a few friends yesterday who were on the Guatemala team. It was good to grieve with others who knew and loved Karlita. I would ask that you continue to pray that God will show me the next steps I need to make. Many of you remember me talking about my trip to Guatemala weeks before I went. I had such a strong urging that I needed to go. I just knew that my experience would change my life in a drastic way and that God was telling me to do _________ (fill in the blank). I thought I would come back home and God's plan would be so clear. I knew He was going to use this trip to show me something and I thought for sure I would know what was going to go in that blank. When I returned home from Guatemla I was different. My eyes were open to so many different things, but I did not feel the big "WOW" moment I thought I would feel. After Friday night that moment came. The news of Karlita's death has made me realize that I need to do something. That overwhelming feeling  I thought I would feel came this weekend. I wish I knew what that next step is, but I don't. I just know that God has something else for me that directly relates to orphans and it goes beyond just adopting them. I am pretty sure that I am not even remotely expressing what I am feeling. This is where prayers step in. My plan is to teach once we get to Chicago but I am not sure. I feel like there might be something else I need to be doing. Ugh, this feeling is very frustrating. I know that the last 12 years of my life have been preparing me for what is coming next. My missions degree, cancer, surgery, heartbreak, teaching, adoption, Guatemala, Karlita, all of these events are starting to come together. I will keep you posted:)

I got a few pictures of the kids yesterday, but they are at the age when they just want to be silly! They are growing up too fast! Emma is now in K4 and is loving every minute of it. Samuel is in 2nd grade and I am still finding that hard to believe. We decided to keep Chloe in K3 again this year. She is starting to talk up a storm! It is so cute to hear her little voice and Emma has to be careful because now little sister can tell on her:) The girls are back to sharing a room. Emma is on the top bunk and Chloe is sleeping on the bottom bunk. I was planning on giving Sam his own room when we moved so I had been letting Emma take a nap on the top bunk during the summer to see how she would do. The weekend before school started Sam says, "Mom, I am going to be in 2nd grade, I do not think I should be sharing  a room with my sister." He had a good point, so I switched their rooms. It has been working out really well. Maybe it will continue to work until they are teenagers (HA).





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