Monday, June 17, 2013
"Why am I always the one that has to wait on good things to happen to me? Nothing comes easy for me, and it just doesn't seem fair!"
These words came out of my mouth this week. Well, they actually were written in a text message but came out of my heart. I guess I have had these thought for most of my life, but they all came pouring out last Thursday. School was never easy for me. I made good grades and did well in school, but I worked hard for those good grades. Losing weight has never been easy for me. Making good friends does not come easy for me. Oh, I have many friends, but it is not easy for me to go through the process of making lifelong friends. When I meet new people I have to really work at putting down my insecurities and let people get to know me. I get lots of compliments on my hair, but trust me it is not easy to get my hair to look good. Athletic ability has never come easy for me, so much in fact I refrain from any athletic activity. My health has not been easy for me. Having a family was not easy for me. The thing women were created for and a command in the Bible was not at all easy for me! Finances are never easy for me. We always seem to be behind and living from check to check despite efforts to get ahead. Sleeping only come easy to me with sleep aid and sometimes even getting out of bed is not easy for me. I have worked so hard this semester getting every thing finished to teach next year and I found out last week that on July 1st Illinois will be changing their requirements and no license will be issued if paperwork is not submitted by June 30th. I knew there was no way that I would get every thing sent in by June 30th. I called the Illinois State Board of Education and they assured me that if I got my application and $75 cashiers check to them by June 28th I would still be able to send the rest of my paperwork in after July 1st. I am hopeful (I even called twice for confirmation), but it's Illinois and they like to make up their own rules, once again making it very difficult for me. Two possibilities at our school for teaching positions were given to those who may or may not be the best teachers. I was struggling and I was mad and I could not understand why some people get all the breaks in life (or so it seems). I feel like I am always waiting for what God wants me to do next and I was tired of having to wait! I was in such a foul mood and I really did not know what to do with these feelings.
When I got home that evening I was still going over all the thoughts of life in my head but the bad thoughts started to be replaced by the good thoughts. Salvation was easy for me. Jesus paid the price for that you just had to accept the gift. Forgiving comes easy for me. Loving others come easy for me. Finding the good in other people comes easy for me. Being a good listener comes easy to me. Even though the waiting is hard, it comes easy to obey when He shows me the next step. Taking care of my family comes easy for me. Serving others comes easy for me. And the list continued through my head and peace once again started to wash over me.
The very next day we celebrated Samuel's Gotcha Day. 8 wonderful years ago the hardest wait I have ever endured came to an end when Samuel was placed in my arms and became the baby I had longed for for such a long time. On Friday a quote that I had come across shortly after Samuel came home came to my mind again. It is a quote by the missionary Jim Elliot who was massacred (along with other missionaries) by a tribe that they were ministering to in Ecuador.
"God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with him." Jim Elliot
I don't know why I always seem to be in the waiting room of life, but I do know with all my heart that God will always give me the best and do what is best for me when I stop trying to control and micromanage my life. So, I am determined to be content in the waiting room. Trying to make things better for those who are waiting with me and doing the task set before while I am waiting. I know that while I am waiting God is putting all the pieces together and when the wait is finally over I will know it was worth the wait.
In other news of waiting, Samuel has been waiting and wanting to go to the top of the Willis (sorry, still SEARS to us) Tower since we have moved here. He has soaked up all and any history of Chicago and his teacher has been amazed at how much he loves talking about Chicago. It is a little pricey to take all 5 of us to the top, so for his Gotcha Day Jeremy took finally took him to the glass sky deck on the 103 floor of the Tower. We also signed him up for Fall soccer on Friday and declared it to be the best Gotcha Day ever!
[caption id="attachment_3420" align="alignnone" width="604"]
Little Miss Cutie![/caption]
These words came out of my mouth this week. Well, they actually were written in a text message but came out of my heart. I guess I have had these thought for most of my life, but they all came pouring out last Thursday. School was never easy for me. I made good grades and did well in school, but I worked hard for those good grades. Losing weight has never been easy for me. Making good friends does not come easy for me. Oh, I have many friends, but it is not easy for me to go through the process of making lifelong friends. When I meet new people I have to really work at putting down my insecurities and let people get to know me. I get lots of compliments on my hair, but trust me it is not easy to get my hair to look good. Athletic ability has never come easy for me, so much in fact I refrain from any athletic activity. My health has not been easy for me. Having a family was not easy for me. The thing women were created for and a command in the Bible was not at all easy for me! Finances are never easy for me. We always seem to be behind and living from check to check despite efforts to get ahead. Sleeping only come easy to me with sleep aid and sometimes even getting out of bed is not easy for me. I have worked so hard this semester getting every thing finished to teach next year and I found out last week that on July 1st Illinois will be changing their requirements and no license will be issued if paperwork is not submitted by June 30th. I knew there was no way that I would get every thing sent in by June 30th. I called the Illinois State Board of Education and they assured me that if I got my application and $75 cashiers check to them by June 28th I would still be able to send the rest of my paperwork in after July 1st. I am hopeful (I even called twice for confirmation), but it's Illinois and they like to make up their own rules, once again making it very difficult for me. Two possibilities at our school for teaching positions were given to those who may or may not be the best teachers. I was struggling and I was mad and I could not understand why some people get all the breaks in life (or so it seems). I feel like I am always waiting for what God wants me to do next and I was tired of having to wait! I was in such a foul mood and I really did not know what to do with these feelings.
When I got home that evening I was still going over all the thoughts of life in my head but the bad thoughts started to be replaced by the good thoughts. Salvation was easy for me. Jesus paid the price for that you just had to accept the gift. Forgiving comes easy for me. Loving others come easy for me. Finding the good in other people comes easy for me. Being a good listener comes easy to me. Even though the waiting is hard, it comes easy to obey when He shows me the next step. Taking care of my family comes easy for me. Serving others comes easy for me. And the list continued through my head and peace once again started to wash over me.
The very next day we celebrated Samuel's Gotcha Day. 8 wonderful years ago the hardest wait I have ever endured came to an end when Samuel was placed in my arms and became the baby I had longed for for such a long time. On Friday a quote that I had come across shortly after Samuel came home came to my mind again. It is a quote by the missionary Jim Elliot who was massacred (along with other missionaries) by a tribe that they were ministering to in Ecuador.
"God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with him." Jim Elliot
I don't know why I always seem to be in the waiting room of life, but I do know with all my heart that God will always give me the best and do what is best for me when I stop trying to control and micromanage my life. So, I am determined to be content in the waiting room. Trying to make things better for those who are waiting with me and doing the task set before while I am waiting. I know that while I am waiting God is putting all the pieces together and when the wait is finally over I will know it was worth the wait.
In other news of waiting, Samuel has been waiting and wanting to go to the top of the Willis (sorry, still SEARS to us) Tower since we have moved here. He has soaked up all and any history of Chicago and his teacher has been amazed at how much he loves talking about Chicago. It is a little pricey to take all 5 of us to the top, so for his Gotcha Day Jeremy took finally took him to the glass sky deck on the 103 floor of the Tower. We also signed him up for Fall soccer on Friday and declared it to be the best Gotcha Day ever!
[caption id="attachment_3420" align="alignnone" width="604"]
Little Miss Cutie![/caption]
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