Thursday, June 6, 2013
"Because God is my sovereign Lord, I was not worried. He manages perfectly, day and night, year in and year out, the movements of the stars, the wheeling of the planets, the staggering coordination of events that goes on the molecular level in order to hold things together. There is no doubt that he can manage the timing of my days and weeks." Elisabeth Elliot
I get so aggravated with myself! I wish I could make it through one day of not worrying or planning or trying to figure things out in my life. For months I have been stressing over classes and tests and I knew God was whispering to me, "I got this! Stop worrying! You're right, YOU can't do this, but I CAN!" He helped me get through Algebra and I knew a few weeks ago that I had passed two of the four tests. Monday night I signed on to my account on the testing site and when I signed in I saw that all my results were ready to be viewed. With great delight I saw that I had passed all four tests and actually did pretty well on them :) I was crying tears of joy and I thought for once in a really long time I could relax. WRONG! Monday night my joy and relief turned once again to worry and planning. Okay, now I have to send in this paper work, and call this person, and do this and do that, and oh my where am I going to work next year and, what if my IL license is not issued in time.....This went on most of the night Monday. Tuesday I went to school and I was not feeling well and my mind was still racing. Yesterday I stayed home from school because I was still not feeling very well and I needed a mental break. I slept a lot yesterday and I felt somewhat better today. This morning after my devotion God spoke to me about all this fretting I have been doing the past few days and it was not exactly nice. This might seem odd, but this is what my heart heard this morning:
"What do you think you are doing? YOU are acting like all these accomplishments are something you did to move you to the next step in your life. I have orchestrated these events and these moments because it is MY plan, not yours! Stop depending on your own understanding and schemes to figure out the next step. I know exactly where you will be next school year and what you will be doing. I am putting things into place. It is all MY timing, so stop trying to figure it out. I will make MY plans known to you when it is time. Think about where you were last year at this time. I am Trustworthy. I am Faithful. I have this! You just have to trust."
Monday we had a Fine Arts Festival at school. Here are a some pictures of the kids. I was outside with my class while Sam was outside and the girls were at the festival on my lunch break.
Sam and I watching a movie tonight.
I get so aggravated with myself! I wish I could make it through one day of not worrying or planning or trying to figure things out in my life. For months I have been stressing over classes and tests and I knew God was whispering to me, "I got this! Stop worrying! You're right, YOU can't do this, but I CAN!" He helped me get through Algebra and I knew a few weeks ago that I had passed two of the four tests. Monday night I signed on to my account on the testing site and when I signed in I saw that all my results were ready to be viewed. With great delight I saw that I had passed all four tests and actually did pretty well on them :) I was crying tears of joy and I thought for once in a really long time I could relax. WRONG! Monday night my joy and relief turned once again to worry and planning. Okay, now I have to send in this paper work, and call this person, and do this and do that, and oh my where am I going to work next year and, what if my IL license is not issued in time.....This went on most of the night Monday. Tuesday I went to school and I was not feeling well and my mind was still racing. Yesterday I stayed home from school because I was still not feeling very well and I needed a mental break. I slept a lot yesterday and I felt somewhat better today. This morning after my devotion God spoke to me about all this fretting I have been doing the past few days and it was not exactly nice. This might seem odd, but this is what my heart heard this morning:
"What do you think you are doing? YOU are acting like all these accomplishments are something you did to move you to the next step in your life. I have orchestrated these events and these moments because it is MY plan, not yours! Stop depending on your own understanding and schemes to figure out the next step. I know exactly where you will be next school year and what you will be doing. I am putting things into place. It is all MY timing, so stop trying to figure it out. I will make MY plans known to you when it is time. Think about where you were last year at this time. I am Trustworthy. I am Faithful. I have this! You just have to trust."
Monday we had a Fine Arts Festival at school. Here are a some pictures of the kids. I was outside with my class while Sam was outside and the girls were at the festival on my lunch break.
Sam and I watching a movie tonight.
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