It's crazy how 9 years can seem like 6 months. It's crazy to think that it has been 9 years since we returned home from Korea with our beautiful daughter Emma. I remember the events of that day so vividly. Jeremy and I had actually officially taken custody of Emma the day before. Once again, you can browse through older posts if you want more details, but the bottom line was that the exchange of Emma's foster mother giving Emma to us was nothing short of heartbreaking. We had been at the adoption agency. Emma and her foster mother came. We exchanged some gifts. We got her and all of her belongings. We left this small room in the agency with Emma still in the arms of her foster mother. We stepped on the elevator. The social worker holding the button to keep the door open. The foster mother and Emma are outside of the elevator. Emma is handed to me. The doors close and wailing (yes, wailing) is heard from the precious baby in my arms and the precious woman who had loved and taken care of this baby for almost 15 months. It was a rough day. It was a whirlwind of emotions. Beauty and love intertwined with heartache and loss. I have said it 100 times, and I will probably say it 100 more, adoption is not for the weak of heart. We spent the day in our hotel room with Emma. She finally settled down and we were able to keep her happy by offering treats to her. We went out to dinner that night with her. We went to bed early. She slept through the night between Jeremy and myself and we were in awe that she slept all night. I woke up super early on the 16th to shower and get ready for our long trip home. I slipped getting out of the shower and I was convinced that I had broken my elbow. I was in so much pain, but I had to get ready. We made it to the airport. We went through a million different lines to make sure all of our paperwork checked out. At one point we were asked to step into this side room and my heart was beating out of my chest. They said we were missing a part of our paperwork. It was the weekend so they were not sure if anyone was working at the agency. I was tire, my arm was hurting, I just wanted to get home with my baby and get home Samuel. Finally, the missing paperwork was found and we could finally head home.
Emma did great on 16+ hour trip from Korea to Chicago. We made it through customs in Chicago without any problems. We then flew from Chicago to Memphis. It would be in Memphis that everything would take a terrible turn. We already had beef with Memphis because it was the Memphis visa office that mishandled our paperwork. Anyway, Emma was beyond consolable. She was screaming her head off. I was exhausted, my arm was hurting so bad and Emma would not let Jeremy hold her, so I had to use my other arm that was now also hurting. They kept switching our gate number at the airport. We were running back and forth. We almost missed our flight and since we were in the air we could not check in and so Jeremy and I did not have seats together. The people sitting next to us would not switch seats! We were like 6 aisles apart. Did I mention that Emma was screaming?
We finally landed in Nashville and we were so surprised to see our parents and Samuel and a friend taking pictures for us waiting as we came out of the gate. In the post 9/11 time the airport granted our family permission to meet us as we came off the plane. By this time our poor Emma was so emotionally and physically drained that she just laid on my shoulder. It was a beautiful moment as we all walked out into the main part of the airport greeted by so many of our family and friends who loved this little girl and literally prayed her home. The picture of Emma just laying on me is one of my favorite pictures. I love that my dad is in the background and that I know exactly the thoughts he is thinking by the look on his face. A look of total thankfulness of what God had done for our family. Answered prayers, in my arms. I love from the outside looking in many people saw it as a moment of Emma's love for me, but the truth is that she was just clinging to whatever felt the safest to her at that moment. I love that despite the way Emma felt about me, Emma can look back and see that I loved her even though I didn't really even know her. I was her mommy and it showed all over my face. It would be weeks, maybe months, before I would truly win Emma's affection. It would be a rough time of getting Emma to trust us and show affection toward us, but oh the joy when we finally captured her heart.
I am overwhelmed today (and most days) how God orchestrated our family. Tears flow as there is so much more to our girl's journey home that I cannot even share, but maybe those details are a part of the story to always remind me that God did this. God chose me to be their mom. God chose them to be my children. I look at the picture and Emma and myself and I cannot help but think of how many time Jesus has held me like that. Times when the world that I knew was taken away, times that I have been so emotionally and physically exhausted that collapsing in defeat seemed to be the only choice. Yet, he held me. He loved me. He was determined to fight for my affection. Adoption my friends is a beautiful, broken story of redemption.
Happy Gotcha Day Emma! We love you more than you could ever know! You are forever our miracle baby.
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| Papa and Samuel watching our plane land |
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| Samuel needed his momma! Yes, my arm was hurting so bad, but it was my boy. |
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| Grandma's getting a closer look |
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| Our beautiful daughter having a date with daddy today |
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