Monday, May 28, 2018

It has been a busy week. I napped on Sunday and when I woke up my throat was hurting pretty bad. I felt like it was sinus drainage and treated it like sinus issues. Monday night we went to Samuel's 8th grade banquet. It was a nice evening despite the fact that there were people there that we didn't really want to see. There were no issues. We sat at a table with parents and teachers that love us and support us. I sat and watched my son interact with his friends and it made my heart happy to see him laugh and have a good time. Samuel got several awards at the banquet. He got a math award, physical education award, and the Christian character award. The character award made me so proud considering the year we have had. I cannot even imagine the conversations he heard at the beginning of the year considering the events that transpired before school started. I am thankful that he kept his integrity and character and that it was recognized. We got home Monday night and I needed to get my house cleaned as we prepared for my parents coming in the next day. Tuesday afternoon my parents came and we all went to Emma and Samuel's Spring concert. Chloe went with us and I know it was not easy for her as she had been prepared to sing in the program just a few weeks ago. Wednesday was a pretty quiet day. I went to school and the came home and did some more cleaning as Jeremy's parents would be coming in later that evening. Everyone but me stayed home Thursday from school. I probably should of stayed home as I was still not feeling well. My throat never got worse and I did not have a fever, but throat wasn't getting any better and I had so much sinus pressure. Thursday night we celebrated Samuel and his accomplishments of graduating elementary school. There were some tears, but I held it together pretty good. Samuel got another award at graduation from the PTF recognizing his outstanding character. I could not stop thanking Jesus for the blessing of our son. As our son walked down the aisle in his graduation cap and gown, as I heard his name being called for an award and his diploma I could not help but let my heart and mind wonder. I saw myself in those early years of our marriage when I would have symptoms month after month that I might be pregnant. I see myself taking countless pregnancy tests only to see that each one was negative. I would see myself going in month after month to the doctor trying to get my body restarted. I see myself sitting in the doctor's office and hysterical as I was told I would never have children. I would see myself waking up for the first time in a hospital room with my new reality, my new life with a huge part of my heart gone. I would see myself filling out adoption paperwork. Spending endless nights on the bathroom floor begging God to give me a child. I see the nights laying flat on the floor in the spare room weeping and crying out to God that soon I would putting a baby to sleep in this room. I see Jeremy on the phone pleading with our adoption agency asking them if they had any waiting babies. I hear him telling me that they had paperwork for  a six month old baby boy come across their desk the day before. I see Jeremy coming into my PreK room at PVCS and writing the name Jae Min Ha on my chalkboard. And I could go on forever. He is named Samuel because the Lord heard my cry. The Lord sent me this precious boy at my darkest hour and as dramatic as it may sound, this baby boy saved my life.
We got home that night and enjoyed some ice cream and visiting with our family. I went to bed Thursday night feeling pretty bad and prayed that I some rest would help me feel better. I woke up Friday and to my disappointment I did not feel any better. My voice also started to sound strained, but I had so much to do to get ready for Sam's graduation party that night. I had lots of help and I had to let go of some of my obsession of my house being perfect for guests. I got some over the counter medicine and took a nap before guests arrived. It was a beautiful night with our family and friends. I was overwhelmed at how God has blessed us with so many amazing people that love us and help us point of children to Jesus. Saturday morning I woke up and everybody was asking if I felt better, I really didn't know how I felt. The pressure in my face had moved behind my eyes. I don't think I felt better, I just felt different. My voice was also almost completely gone. Our parents headed back home and I headed to bed. Jeremy went and got me some Mucinex and I was able to sleep for several hours. I woke up feeling a tiny bit better. I continued to take the medicine and rest and by the evening I could tell that whatever I was doing was helping. I stayed in Sunday to continue to rest. I am feeling much better but my voice is still not back entirely. I am praying that it is back by tomorrow, I seriously need my teacher voice the next two days 😅. It is going to be a busy week trying as we finish off this school year and as I get my room packed up. There will be some tears I am sure, but I am also looking forward to the freedom that will come. Today has given me the taste for summer and I am so ready for a lot of down time. Praying you all have a wonderful week!