April 2nd. The day that changed everything. 14 years have gone by since April 2nd became more than just another day on the calendar. I had gone in a few days before this date to have some outpatient surgery. I was expecting to go to my doctor's appointment for a quick follow-up and was prepared to be told that the surgery had fixed the problems I was having. We had been married for three years and we were ready to start our family. We knew we were going to get good news and be able to start planning for our future family. We sat in the waiting room surrounded by expecting mothers. Other women would smile at us, probably thinking that I was expecting. We sat in that waiting room dreaming of how wonderful that day would be. I remember everything about this day 14 years ago. I remember what I was wearing, what I had had for breakfast, conversations I had at work, the songs that played on my car radio on the way to my appointment, and the thing that will forever be burned in my mind was the look on the nurse's face when she called us back to the doctor's personal office. So much sadness in her eyes. Sadness that struck my heart so fiercely that I was prepared for terrible news before the doctor opened his mouth. I knew the news would be bad, but not even the nurse's look of warning could have prepared me for what we heard. The biopsy came back as cancer. I had uterine cancer. I had a cancer that is unheard of in woman under 40. A cancer that is usually found in postmenopausal woman, not a 25 year old with no family history of cancer. The prognosis was not good. The cancer cells had changed several times so it looked like it was in late stages of cancer. I had just been given news that my life was in danger and I remember weeping because that meant I would not be able to have children. We were dazed and broken. I was supposed to be "fixed" and I found myself broken beyond repair. I was to go visit an oncologist in two days to discuss treatments and options. Those two days were a bit of a blur. We made so many phone calls and each time I felt like I was having an outer body experience telling my tale. My sister and niece came down from NC and my sister would become my buffer for the phone calls because I just could not bear to tell the details anymore. I would go two days later and meet the nicest doctor I have ever met. We would get a plan of action. My next year would be filled with numerous appointments, shots, chemicals, blood drawn, biopsies. A year later God would heal me from this cancer. It came with a great price to be cancer free and the true healing would still be taking place 14 years later. As I reflect on this day I cannot help but remember the traumatic events of this day. This day changed the course of my life, but it changed the course of everyone that loves us. It shook all of us, but it also changed how we look at life. This day is a reminder that no matter how broken we are we serve a Maker that can mend the broken pieces of our life. No matter how broken, when we give Him the pieces He makes something amazing. The events of this day brought three beautiful children in our family. This day expanded our view on how God works in the lives of His children. Our life, my life is a picture of God taking the ashes of dreams and plans and making them into something that gives Him the Glory. As I look back on the last 14 years there is no doubt that God is writing this story and in the words of Elisabeth Elliot "
“Of one thing I am perfectly sure: God's story never ends with 'ashes.”
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| Posting this in honor of Opening Day! Go Cubs Go! |
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