Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Although this day is known for the birthday of our nation, I think of this day as the birthday of someone I love and miss very much, my Pawpaw. Freddy Barrells was born on July 4th and he could be described as a Firecracker. He was one of the strongest men I ever met. He was full of life and was known as a hard worker. I mentioned before that my Grandma married Pawpaw after her own children were married. Pawpaw was known for saying, " They may not be my children, but those are my grandkids." He loved us like his own blood and I would have never guessed he wasn't our flesh and bone grandpa. I have many memories of my Pawpaw. They went on many trips with us. One year we were in Washington D.C. for the 4th of July and we were at the Washington Monument, but it was a madhouse. We ended up going back to the hotel to swim. The pool was on the roof of the building and the water was freezing. Pawpaw took off running and jumped in that pool and he hollered so loud we thought he was dying! This past weekend when we were in Illinois I was reminded of a time Pawpaw and I had went somewhere and on the way back to our house he decided he was going to go a different way. I was a little girl but I remember telling him that he was going to get lost. We drove around and he kept turning down roads and we were so lost. I remember us finally pulling to the side of the road and someone stopped to help us. He got back in the truck and I said, "Pawpaw, I told you you would get lost." He loved to tell that story. I can still hear him calling me 'Pete Rose' because of the bowl haircut I had as a kid. I can still see him mowing his grass and working in his garden. I can still picture him sitting in his favorite recliner yelling at the contestants on The Price is Right or yelling at the baseball team that was on TV. I can still hear him hollering at us for changing the channel even though he was sound asleep in his chair. I can still picture him eating his favorite snack, peanuts. Due to diabetes he lost a few of his toes and it made him slow down a bit. My Grandma got sick and he stayed by her side day in and day out, watching her slowly die. I still think about how hard that was for him. I was blessed to be living in Nashville the last few years of their lives and I was able to spend a great deal of time with them. I can still picture him at my Grandma's funeral. It was one of the saddest things I have ever seen. A few short months after we said good-bye to my Grandma we had to say good-bye to Pawpaw. He left us so quickly. It was Labor Day weekend and we were all down in West TN. We stopped by on that Friday to see him, but my Aunt had taken him to the hospital because he had become very sick. On Sunday afternoon we headed up to the hospital and I was able to tell him that I loved him. I told him good-bye not realizing that it would be the last time I would see him. He passed away that Sunday night from sepsis. So, as we celebrate our nation's birth I also celebrate the man who I knew as Pawpaw. Happy Birthday! I love and miss you.





Well, this will not post until later, but I am actually writing this at 1:15 AM. I cannot shake this feeling of discouragement. It feels like it is coming from every direction and the news we got yesterday has really thrown me. As I lay in my bed tonight trying to fall asleep I could not help but think of all the Godly men and women of the past that were told they did not have what it takes to make a difference and they ended up changing the world forever for the Name of Christ. Can you imagine the Apostle Paul trying to pass an assessment before planting churches ? He had all kinds of problems and baggage. When I think of those missionaries and world changers that I have studied and read about, each one heard God's voice and chose to obey. Against all the odds and nay sayers, they simply trusted and obeyed the One who was in charge of the whole universe. I am choosing to listen and follow His calling. I am going to listen to those who know us and love us and can see that it is God speaking into our lives, not people who knew us for a whole 48 hours. I am thankful for the kind words and the prayers. Please continue to lift us up. As the days get closer to our move I know that the enemy is doing every thing he can to discourage us and try to cause doubt in our hearts.