Tuesday, March 21, 2017
Growing up my dad gave us all ( all in terms of anyone that would listen) a spiritual gifts tests that was created by the Institute of Basic Life Principals. It was determined that my gifts leaned heavily towards service to others and mercy and I actually agree 100% with those results. I live my life trying to help whenever and wherever I can and the mercy part comes in when dealing with people in general. I give so much of myself to others that I forget to recharge. I forget to rest. I have been very clear on how busy our lives have been the last few months. My body was giving me warning signs that I needed to get some rest but I just kept pushing on through the pain. I mentioned Sunday that my jaw was starting to hurt. I know I have TMJ and my jaw pops every time I chew. When I go on trips I usually wake up at least one morning with my jaw completely locked from the stress of traveling, but I do not usually experience days of pain with it. Monday morning I woke up and my jaw and my whole face was hurting. It wasn't just hurting when I would open my mouth, but a constant pain even with my mouth closed. I have had this sensation before, but it has been a few years since I had this much pain. I went to work but I couldn't hind the fact that I was not feeling well. I pushed through the day still trying to pin point what caused this flare up, then I realized that this was my body's final warning that I needed to take a break. Of course I pushed off that warning. I would rest during spring break (which is only 3 weeks away, HA). I would just suck it up, push through. People were depending on me. What if another teacher was out and they needed me to sub? The teacher I work with will be upset if I take off? What if my sweet student has a breakdown because I am not there? Keep pretending you are stronger than you are.
I picked up Samuel from play practice. I could tell he wasn't feeling good. He had told me that morning that he woke up really hot except he had the chills. I asked him all the questions if anything was hurting and he seemed to be okay that morning. We get home and I check his temperature. He has a fever and is complaining of aches. I gave him some medicine and then he went to bed. It was in those moments that I realized that I had zero energy to give to my sick child. I started stressing about taking off of work to keep him home and I realized that I have been running on fumes these last few weeks and the break down was coming. I then realized maybe the Lord gave Samuel that fever knowing it would be the only reason that I would stay home for a day. I have taken one day off this school year and that was to go to the Cubs parade. We have had days off of school the last few months and I have the weekends, but my days at home are refereeing 3 kids, grocery shopping, laundry, homework, projects, and the list could go on. I cannot remember the last day that I just stayed home all day. So today I asked my friend to take the girls to school (her daughter also goes to the school) and Jeremy is going to pick them up. I have been enjoying a nice quiet day at home with Samuel. No arguing going on, not being asked a million questions, not feeling guilty saying no to playing Monopoly for the 100th time. Our RC is being moved tomorrow night since Sam is sick, so no madwoman cleaning going on (even though I really have to fight the urge to organize a closet or two), I am having a day of not getting ready to go anywhere, being okay with the fact that I went back to bed after the girls went to school, drinking coffee all day, maybe squeeze a nap in this afternoon, and asking the Lord to fill my cup again. I really need to work on taking care of myself. I need to be better at letting others know when I am running on empty and not be so concerned about what others will say (yes, there is someone in my life that will make a comment about me taking the day off) if I need a day to recharge physically and mentally. I have a certain situation in my life that some days it is a bed of roses and some days it is like laying only on the thorns. The last few weeks it has been more thorns than roses and I am struggling. It has added stress and is a cause for my grumpy mood lately. Thankfully this situation is only for a season and the season will be changing soon, but until then I want to be gracious even when all I can see and feel are the thorns.
Well in better news, Samuel seems to be better today. I am afraid that yesterday may of been the worst of it and I sent him to school 😩. Praying this was just a 24 hour thing and he is the only one that gets it!
I picked up Samuel from play practice. I could tell he wasn't feeling good. He had told me that morning that he woke up really hot except he had the chills. I asked him all the questions if anything was hurting and he seemed to be okay that morning. We get home and I check his temperature. He has a fever and is complaining of aches. I gave him some medicine and then he went to bed. It was in those moments that I realized that I had zero energy to give to my sick child. I started stressing about taking off of work to keep him home and I realized that I have been running on fumes these last few weeks and the break down was coming. I then realized maybe the Lord gave Samuel that fever knowing it would be the only reason that I would stay home for a day. I have taken one day off this school year and that was to go to the Cubs parade. We have had days off of school the last few months and I have the weekends, but my days at home are refereeing 3 kids, grocery shopping, laundry, homework, projects, and the list could go on. I cannot remember the last day that I just stayed home all day. So today I asked my friend to take the girls to school (her daughter also goes to the school) and Jeremy is going to pick them up. I have been enjoying a nice quiet day at home with Samuel. No arguing going on, not being asked a million questions, not feeling guilty saying no to playing Monopoly for the 100th time. Our RC is being moved tomorrow night since Sam is sick, so no madwoman cleaning going on (even though I really have to fight the urge to organize a closet or two), I am having a day of not getting ready to go anywhere, being okay with the fact that I went back to bed after the girls went to school, drinking coffee all day, maybe squeeze a nap in this afternoon, and asking the Lord to fill my cup again. I really need to work on taking care of myself. I need to be better at letting others know when I am running on empty and not be so concerned about what others will say (yes, there is someone in my life that will make a comment about me taking the day off) if I need a day to recharge physically and mentally. I have a certain situation in my life that some days it is a bed of roses and some days it is like laying only on the thorns. The last few weeks it has been more thorns than roses and I am struggling. It has added stress and is a cause for my grumpy mood lately. Thankfully this situation is only for a season and the season will be changing soon, but until then I want to be gracious even when all I can see and feel are the thorns.
Well in better news, Samuel seems to be better today. I am afraid that yesterday may of been the worst of it and I sent him to school 😩. Praying this was just a 24 hour thing and he is the only one that gets it!
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