Saturday, February 12, 2011- Day 87
[caption id="attachment_2377" align="alignnone" width="360" caption="Seoul Korea from the taxi."]
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[caption id="attachment_2378" align="alignnone" width="360" caption="Emma at her foster mother's house"]
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[caption id="attachment_2380" align="alignnone" width="360" caption="Emma finally fell asleep in daddy's arms."]
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February 12th is one of those dates that will forever be a part of my life. Those of you that have been reading my blog/know my story have heard this before, but I like to take a minute to talk about the significance of this day.
We have to go back to 2004. Ten months prior to February 12, 2004 I was diagnosed with endometrium cancer. I was 25 years old when I was diaganosed so the doctors were hoping to treat me rather than have a hysterectomy. So, I went through 10 months of treatments. It was the worst time in my life. Every three months I went through a horrific biopsy to see if the treatments were working. The first two biopsies showed no change in the cancer cells. The week prior to February 12th I had my third and final biopsy. This time the doctor said that there looked like there was a change but we would see what the results said. We returned home and for a week we were preparing for our miracle. I just knew this time that the results were going to come back positive. We had all been praying and trusting so I knew we were going to get good news. So, with high hopes we made our hour trip to the oncologist and we sat in his office waiting for some good news. I remember every thing about that visit. I remember what I was wearing. I remember the pictures on the doctor's desk and walls. There was a Point of Grace song playing on the small radio by his desk. I remember my doctor coming into the room with a kindness and sadness look in his eyes. He sat down and told us that there was not any change in the cancer cells. He told us that there was nothing else he could do. I would need to have the surgery in the next few weeks. He said that he probably had done more than he should and that I needed to have the surgery soon because we were not sure if the cancer had been spreading to other parts of my body over the last 10 months. I remember feeling every emotion in that 20 minute appointment. I first was sad. Then my sadness turned to anger as I tried to convince the doctor to try something else. As crazy as it sounds it then turned to relief that this roller coaster ride of hoping was finally over. I remember leaving the office and loosing it right outside. And so began the next part of our journey called life.
Let's fast forward to February 12, 2008. Eight months prior to this date we had received the referral of our sweet Emma. She was 7 months old. In most situations with our agency once a referral is received the baby comes home 2-3 months later. We had started our adoption process with Emma back in Feb. of 2007 so this was record time. We started making plans quick for her homecoming. Well her homecoming was not quick. We had some major problems with her paperwork. The immigration office lost it and refused to admit that they were at fault. We were back and forth with the immigration office and the Visa Center for months. Nobody would help us! We got our congressmen involved. We even called the Korean Embassy (even though we were advised not to). I was in the fight of my life to bring my baby girl home and I was losing. We missed her first birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and my 30th birthday. We contacted our friends and family and they all poured e-mails into the immigration office begging them to help. Within a day someone from the immigration office contacted me (which NEVER happens). Within a week we finally got our travel call! So on February 12, 2008 we boarded a plane headed to South Korea to get our little girl! Little did I know that 8 months later I would be welcoming another little girl home!
Here I am 7 years later and I wish I could say that all the grief of that day in 2004 in gone because it is not. This time of year I grieve deeply for what was lost, but the grief is bearable because of what happen this date in 2008. As I hold my precious Emma I can look back and be thankful for what happened this day in 2004. Without that day there would not have been the blessings of my three Asian darlings!
[/caption][caption id="attachment_2378" align="alignnone" width="360" caption="Emma at her foster mother's house"]
[/caption][caption id="attachment_2380" align="alignnone" width="360" caption="Emma finally fell asleep in daddy's arms."]
[/caption]February 12th is one of those dates that will forever be a part of my life. Those of you that have been reading my blog/know my story have heard this before, but I like to take a minute to talk about the significance of this day.
We have to go back to 2004. Ten months prior to February 12, 2004 I was diagnosed with endometrium cancer. I was 25 years old when I was diaganosed so the doctors were hoping to treat me rather than have a hysterectomy. So, I went through 10 months of treatments. It was the worst time in my life. Every three months I went through a horrific biopsy to see if the treatments were working. The first two biopsies showed no change in the cancer cells. The week prior to February 12th I had my third and final biopsy. This time the doctor said that there looked like there was a change but we would see what the results said. We returned home and for a week we were preparing for our miracle. I just knew this time that the results were going to come back positive. We had all been praying and trusting so I knew we were going to get good news. So, with high hopes we made our hour trip to the oncologist and we sat in his office waiting for some good news. I remember every thing about that visit. I remember what I was wearing. I remember the pictures on the doctor's desk and walls. There was a Point of Grace song playing on the small radio by his desk. I remember my doctor coming into the room with a kindness and sadness look in his eyes. He sat down and told us that there was not any change in the cancer cells. He told us that there was nothing else he could do. I would need to have the surgery in the next few weeks. He said that he probably had done more than he should and that I needed to have the surgery soon because we were not sure if the cancer had been spreading to other parts of my body over the last 10 months. I remember feeling every emotion in that 20 minute appointment. I first was sad. Then my sadness turned to anger as I tried to convince the doctor to try something else. As crazy as it sounds it then turned to relief that this roller coaster ride of hoping was finally over. I remember leaving the office and loosing it right outside. And so began the next part of our journey called life.
Let's fast forward to February 12, 2008. Eight months prior to this date we had received the referral of our sweet Emma. She was 7 months old. In most situations with our agency once a referral is received the baby comes home 2-3 months later. We had started our adoption process with Emma back in Feb. of 2007 so this was record time. We started making plans quick for her homecoming. Well her homecoming was not quick. We had some major problems with her paperwork. The immigration office lost it and refused to admit that they were at fault. We were back and forth with the immigration office and the Visa Center for months. Nobody would help us! We got our congressmen involved. We even called the Korean Embassy (even though we were advised not to). I was in the fight of my life to bring my baby girl home and I was losing. We missed her first birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and my 30th birthday. We contacted our friends and family and they all poured e-mails into the immigration office begging them to help. Within a day someone from the immigration office contacted me (which NEVER happens). Within a week we finally got our travel call! So on February 12, 2008 we boarded a plane headed to South Korea to get our little girl! Little did I know that 8 months later I would be welcoming another little girl home!
Here I am 7 years later and I wish I could say that all the grief of that day in 2004 in gone because it is not. This time of year I grieve deeply for what was lost, but the grief is bearable because of what happen this date in 2008. As I hold my precious Emma I can look back and be thankful for what happened this day in 2004. Without that day there would not have been the blessings of my three Asian darlings!
I appreciate your honesty, Kim. I know this was not an easy post to write. I still don't understand why this happened and why you had to go through this, but I do believe that God's plans are so much better than ours, even the ones we can't comprehend. I'm so thankful His plan included 3 beautiful children that He picked out just for you and I'm also thankful for the encouragement you've been to me. I so appreciate your friendship.
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