Wednesday, December 3, 2014
The last three mornings getting the kids out of the door for school have been rough and I am hoping this is not going to be the norm for the remainder of these next few weeks. All three do not want to get out of bed and once I do get them up they are just dragging. We have pushed their bedtime up a half hour but that doesn't seem to be making a difference. Emma, my sweet Emma, usually has at least once a week some kind of issue with not being able to find something or forgetting something in the house. Every few weeks we will get to the car and she will remember that she left her backpack inside. I get so frustrated because before we leave I do a check to make sure they have everything, so somewhere between me seeing that she has her backpack she sets it down and walks out of the door! The frustrating part is that I cannot just give her a key and go get it. With the possibility of getting locked out by two different doors I cannot take that chance. Living in Chicago I never leave the kids in the car, even for a few minutes, so everyone has to get out for her to go get it. This is what happened on Monday. Yesterday morning she could only find one of her tennis shoes. I have a specific basket that they put their tennis shoes in so we do not have this problem, but of course she does not follow this suggestion. The worst part is that she only has summer shoes that fit her, so I wasn't sure what we were going to do. Finally the shoe was found in the weirdest place. This morning we are needing to leave and she tells me that her zipper got stuck yesterday and she knows she probably should of told me yesterday but she forgot. It is too cold in the mornings for her not to zip up her coat so I am frantically trying to get the zipper unstuck. Just trying to take deep breaths and not come unglued.
After these stressful mommy moments I take a step back and remember to be thankful for these moments because there was a dark time in my life that the dreams of being a mommy where crushed. That brings me to my ornaments for today.
I have only had this first set of ornaments a few Christmas' and I love seeing it hung on the tree. It is a reminder of the triple portion of God's blessing on our family.
There are 3-4 ornaments each year that make me a little more emotional than the other ones. The next ornament is one of those ornaments. My mom got me this ornament in 2004. 2004 was not a good year for our family. March of 2004 I had my hysterectomy, May of 2004 my Grandma passed away, September 2004 my Pawpaw passed away. Jeremy and I had moved back to TN and in July of 2004 we started the adoption process. We had actually planned on adopting from India because it was the cheapest country to adopt from at the time. We had finished all of the preliminary paperwork and it had actually been sent to India and we were officially on the waiting list by October of that year. Right before Christmas we got news that we were third on the referral list, but that the time between referrals (being matched with a baby) was kind of longer than normal. So as we went into the Christmas season it was not very merry for me. By December the pain and heartache from the year had caught up with me and depression and a dark emotion has taken my joy and hope for the future. That Christmas I could not keep up the act that I was okay but I didn't realize I had let my guard down until my mom asked if I was okay. She could tell that I was different. Things only got worse when the Tsunami in the Indian Ocean occurred on December 26, 2004. Because of the mass destruction and the amount of missing people, adoptions in that part of the world had been stopped indefinitely. This news and some other situations that would take place over the next few weeks were crushing to me and there were times that I didn't think I could go on with this deep heartbreak. Here I am 10 years later and as I hung this ornament on the tree I am thankful that God had a better plan. I am thankful that just by this simple ornament my parents knew that my time would come. One day my arms and heart would be full with the love of my very own child. My family and friends held on to the hope and joy for me when I had buried it away. This year is the first time Samuel noticed what the ornament said and the year on the ornament. He said, "Did you get this when you were waiting for me?" Tears filled my eyes and I was able to tell him parts of the story that led us to him healing my heart. More tears when I realized how proud he was of this ornament.
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After these stressful mommy moments I take a step back and remember to be thankful for these moments because there was a dark time in my life that the dreams of being a mommy where crushed. That brings me to my ornaments for today.
I have only had this first set of ornaments a few Christmas' and I love seeing it hung on the tree. It is a reminder of the triple portion of God's blessing on our family.
There are 3-4 ornaments each year that make me a little more emotional than the other ones. The next ornament is one of those ornaments. My mom got me this ornament in 2004. 2004 was not a good year for our family. March of 2004 I had my hysterectomy, May of 2004 my Grandma passed away, September 2004 my Pawpaw passed away. Jeremy and I had moved back to TN and in July of 2004 we started the adoption process. We had actually planned on adopting from India because it was the cheapest country to adopt from at the time. We had finished all of the preliminary paperwork and it had actually been sent to India and we were officially on the waiting list by October of that year. Right before Christmas we got news that we were third on the referral list, but that the time between referrals (being matched with a baby) was kind of longer than normal. So as we went into the Christmas season it was not very merry for me. By December the pain and heartache from the year had caught up with me and depression and a dark emotion has taken my joy and hope for the future. That Christmas I could not keep up the act that I was okay but I didn't realize I had let my guard down until my mom asked if I was okay. She could tell that I was different. Things only got worse when the Tsunami in the Indian Ocean occurred on December 26, 2004. Because of the mass destruction and the amount of missing people, adoptions in that part of the world had been stopped indefinitely. This news and some other situations that would take place over the next few weeks were crushing to me and there were times that I didn't think I could go on with this deep heartbreak. Here I am 10 years later and as I hung this ornament on the tree I am thankful that God had a better plan. I am thankful that just by this simple ornament my parents knew that my time would come. One day my arms and heart would be full with the love of my very own child. My family and friends held on to the hope and joy for me when I had buried it away. This year is the first time Samuel noticed what the ornament said and the year on the ornament. He said, "Did you get this when you were waiting for me?" Tears filled my eyes and I was able to tell him parts of the story that led us to him healing my heart. More tears when I realized how proud he was of this ornament.
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