When we lived in the apartment I had many sleepless nights. It was not easy living there. There was a cloud of uneasiness and darkness that seemed to dwell around us. It was also the time that physically was the hardest on me. My lack of sleep at night only added to the stress of my body lugging laundry up and down three flights of stairs to the basement or endless trips to the laundry mat. Simple things like bringing in the groceries were also really hard on me. I would have to climb several flights of stairs to bring in my groceries and if I could not find a parking space near by it would also add to my frustration. I say all of that to say, during that time I started having a really bad pain that circled around my bra line (sorry, I know that's personal but not sure how else to describe it). My top ribs would be really sore and it felt like something was squeezing the life out of me and I was scared that I was actually having heart problems. I was diagnosed with something called costochondritis. It's hard to explain, so you can google it if you want 😏. It is basically an inflammation that is usually caused by trauma or muscle strain and is very common in fibromyalgia people. It's really painful and because I had experienced this several times in the last few years I knew that this is what I have been suffering from the last few days. Last night was terrible. I tossed and turned and could not get in any position without feeling a great deal of pain. I got up several times in the night to reapply oils and ice and try to stretch or anything to get some relief. My only hope was that I knew that the increase in pain actually meant that it was on its way to getting better. I understand that others may experience this different, but the worst of it always happens before I get better. I also cannot explain how my body works, but after getting a few hours of sleep last night I woke up to my alarm and realized that my lower back was in a great deal of pain and basically feels like someone filled my lower back with concrete. Still, I knew that this was the last step before relief would come. As I prayed for relief last night my prayers would quickly turn to prayers that the worst of our situation was over. Please Lord Jesus start to bring healing in every area of my life.
My alarm went off and it was not easy to crawl out from my covers. I wanted to get up the first time my alarm went off because I wanted to start the new devotional I got over the weekend. I sat at my kitchen table waiting for my coffee to hit my soul and the Lord just overwhelmed my heart that THIS is what is going to restore my joy. It has been hard for me to dig in God's Word these last few weeks, but this is why I have been slowly crumbling. I will post a picture of the devotional if you would like to join me in doing this devotion. I really needed this encouragement this morning as I realize when I let the dogs out that we have a nice layer of snow covering our lawn. Snow! It was hard enough to get back to school today, but snow! Also today is one of my favorite days, Opening Day at Wrigley! If you know me at all or just through my blog surely you have picked up on the fact that I am a huge Cubs fan. One of my favorite parts of living in Chicago is when baseball returns! The atmosphere of the city changes and you can start to finally feel Summer just around the corner. Unfortunately, Opening Day was postponed until tomorrow and apparently Summer has been cancelled 😞. I could not help but feel that familiar sting that the Spring and Summer of our life will never come, Winter has not been kind. But the Cubs will play at Wrigley tomorrow, Spring will soon come and Summer will follow suite. Spring feels like it has been postponed in our life, but we just have to be patient, it will soon arrive.
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| "The beautiful melody of God's truth rises up, and my worries fade in their light. His perspective on what troubles me overshadows my anxiety." 👊 |
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| I had to post these beautiful pictures of my sweet Emma. She has been the one I have worried the most about during the transition. Wishing I could take her back to a more simple time. Praying I can be the example to her of turning her worries and fears over to the Lord. |
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