Friday, June 8, 2012
" Bring your most secret thoughts into the Light of My Love. Anything you bring to Me I transform and cleanse from darkness. I know everything about you, far more than you know of yourself. But I restrain My yearning to "fix" you, waiting instead for you to come to Me for help." Jesus Calling- June 8
Have you every carried around a secret? Some times it is an exciting secret that you can hardly contain yourself, but some times it is a hurt or a fear or an insecurity that you keep all to yourself,f afraid to even let those who are the closest to you see. I think that all of the changes going on in our life has brought back some familiar insecurities in my own life, I am not comfortable in my own skin. Nobody has ever said that I was not good enough. Nobody has called me dumb or insignificant. I have never felt unloved. I have, however, been called "chunky","fat", "ugly", "You mean, she is the younger sister? She is so much bigger than her sister," "You seem to have put on some weight," and unfortunately the list goes on. I guess the insecurities about my size kind of leaked into all areas of my life. I some times think people will not accept me because of the way I look. You can imagine how these feelings are playing havoc on my thought process as I prepare to start all over again in a new (and bigger) city. I am mentioning all this because (1.) Blogging about my feelings seem to help me work through it, (2.) Jeremy and I are leaving on Sunday for a church planting assessment and I have been beside myself with nerves solely on the basis of my size. I have been convicted these past few weeks that this attitude I have toward myself not only affects me personally it directly affects opportunities that God has for me.
Back in 2004 when we were in the adoption process the first time, I joined WW and was very successful. I then rejoined WW in 2007 and I was the smallest I have ever been. I cannot really pinpoint when I started gaining weight again and I have been trying to the past 4 years to get it under control, but I try and try and get discouraged and give up. So, I have joined WW again today and I am asking that anyone who is already a member or want to join that we help each other out on this journey. I am doing it online and I have the books, so let me know and maybe we could create a page on FB to help each other.
I have decided that a couple of times a week I am going to make a WW recipe from the website and share with you how it went. I think one of my problems with weight loss is that my range of vegetables that I like are pretty slim(HA) and my range of fruit that I like is pretty small too. The breakfast, lunch, and dinner recipes on the website just do not appeal to me. I will probably pick a few of the meals, but I will mostly be doing desserts. So tonight I made Chocolate Dip for fruit. The kids and I eat chocolate dip (the fattening kind) several times a month, so I thought it would be interesting to see how this turned out considering that one of the ingredients for the dip was CHICK PEAS!!
Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups of canned chick peas (washed, peeled of the skin, dried off)
1/2 cup of sugar
3 TBS unsweetened cocoa
3 TBS of fat-free sweetened condensed milk
3 TBS of hot water
Mix all ingredients in a food processor or blender. Pour into a bowl and let chill in the fridge for 30 minutes.
The finished product
Three thumbs up from our panel of three judges. Emma was watching me and holding her nose when I was peeling the chick peas. She is still wondering what I did with them (smile)! It was pretty good!
Have you every carried around a secret? Some times it is an exciting secret that you can hardly contain yourself, but some times it is a hurt or a fear or an insecurity that you keep all to yourself,f afraid to even let those who are the closest to you see. I think that all of the changes going on in our life has brought back some familiar insecurities in my own life, I am not comfortable in my own skin. Nobody has ever said that I was not good enough. Nobody has called me dumb or insignificant. I have never felt unloved. I have, however, been called "chunky","fat", "ugly", "You mean, she is the younger sister? She is so much bigger than her sister," "You seem to have put on some weight," and unfortunately the list goes on. I guess the insecurities about my size kind of leaked into all areas of my life. I some times think people will not accept me because of the way I look. You can imagine how these feelings are playing havoc on my thought process as I prepare to start all over again in a new (and bigger) city. I am mentioning all this because (1.) Blogging about my feelings seem to help me work through it, (2.) Jeremy and I are leaving on Sunday for a church planting assessment and I have been beside myself with nerves solely on the basis of my size. I have been convicted these past few weeks that this attitude I have toward myself not only affects me personally it directly affects opportunities that God has for me.
Back in 2004 when we were in the adoption process the first time, I joined WW and was very successful. I then rejoined WW in 2007 and I was the smallest I have ever been. I cannot really pinpoint when I started gaining weight again and I have been trying to the past 4 years to get it under control, but I try and try and get discouraged and give up. So, I have joined WW again today and I am asking that anyone who is already a member or want to join that we help each other out on this journey. I am doing it online and I have the books, so let me know and maybe we could create a page on FB to help each other.
I have decided that a couple of times a week I am going to make a WW recipe from the website and share with you how it went. I think one of my problems with weight loss is that my range of vegetables that I like are pretty slim(HA) and my range of fruit that I like is pretty small too. The breakfast, lunch, and dinner recipes on the website just do not appeal to me. I will probably pick a few of the meals, but I will mostly be doing desserts. So tonight I made Chocolate Dip for fruit. The kids and I eat chocolate dip (the fattening kind) several times a month, so I thought it would be interesting to see how this turned out considering that one of the ingredients for the dip was CHICK PEAS!!
Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups of canned chick peas (washed, peeled of the skin, dried off)
1/2 cup of sugar
3 TBS unsweetened cocoa
3 TBS of fat-free sweetened condensed milk
3 TBS of hot water
Mix all ingredients in a food processor or blender. Pour into a bowl and let chill in the fridge for 30 minutes.
The finished product
Three thumbs up from our panel of three judges. Emma was watching me and holding her nose when I was peeling the chick peas. She is still wondering what I did with them (smile)! It was pretty good!
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